St. George

Tom and the Kids and I headed south to enjoy a few days of quiet and sunshine in St. George.  Well, and to see the other new baby.  Shay and Nic's little Brooks!  So cute!

 They live out by Sand Hollow where we had never been before.  Gorgeous water and red rocks for hiking and swimming.

 On the way back to the condo we stopped to say hello to our friends Joe and Mark who own this gorgeous bed and breakfast in Springdale.

 Later that night we drove out to Kayenta to visit Kent & Garry and to have dinner.

 We hiked, rested, sat around the pool and just enjoyed some down time.  It was awesome!

 Our last day, Shay brought the kids over for some pool time and Kristen dropped by for a quick hello!  So glad we got to see them.

Utah!

Our first few days in Utah were a blur.  They included completely rearranging our storage shed so we could get the stuff that had just come cross country in there.

 A drive up to Taggart's in Weber Canyon for a yummy dinner with Jeff & Karen and mom & dad.  Not everyday you're warned of rattlesnakes while you wait for a table!

 Sunday we went to church then to brunch with our friends.  Tom had to dash off for a quick meeting with a HAFB buddy while I stayed and visited with my gal pals then that night we headed to Craig and Denise's for dinner and to meet Jordan and Mark's new baby....Kai!

Taylor's dog Zima

So happy to be together!

 Monday we headed to Murdock so Jeff could sell us a new car.  Old car is going to Taylor for as long it will last.  We saw this whole herd of deer while we were test driving in Bountiful!

 We're quick buyers.  We know what we want.....good used car, low miles and runs perfectly.  Figured since our Chevy Impala had lasted for 250,000 miles that was a good route to go again!

                                 Met the kids for dinner in Kaysville and got to see Jessica play softball

The Flood

So, plans had been in the making for our friend Brent to come stay with us for a couple of days.  He had a conference in DC and had a light schedule the first few days so we could play and visit.  But when Taylor had to be out of his NYC apartment at the end of the month, Tom's schedule got jostled so he could make the drive with him and the plan included me flying to Utah after Brent's visit.

In preparation for said visit, I cleaned the apartment the day before his arrival and after finishing decided to do another bleach cleaning of the master tub.  So I put the cleaner in, started the water running and left to go into the other room.....where I checked emails, and started to blog....for like an hour.  In fact it wasn't until I stood up and my feet were soaking wet from the carpet that I ran across the apartment to find this.

Well, I won't got into all the ugly details but just know that I freaked out, called maintenance who in turn called the disaster relief truck to come clean it all up.

Know that it included tearing up the carpet, pulling out the padding, turning up the heat and putting high powered fans all through the apartment.  Nice.

 Oh yeah, we moved some of the furniture into the bathrooms and kitchen then out into the hall which also had water leaking into it from my apartment.

That first night I stayed there to sleep (I use the word loosely) where I actually just sat in the sauna with the fans blowing hot air everywhere replaying the entire episode in my mind over and over while wondering how I could make this all work with a house guest arriving the next day.

Well, I couldn't.  So I got a hotel room within walking distance (yeah, Tom has the car at this point somewhere in the Dakota's probably) and met Brent at the airport with a smile on my face and a hilarious story.

Hot cookies from the front desk and a quiet, dry hotel room.

We enjoyed his stay in a lovely room with separate bedrooms, free breakfasts, hot cookies, and lots of chit chat.  We saw a dance concert at Kennedy Center and ate out.  Thankfully he's a dear friend so was completely understanding and even came to check on the apartment's progress with me over two more days as it attempted to dry out.

 It took a day longer than expected for the apartment to get the carpets re-stretched and cleaned.  I was flying out the next morning at 6 AM and came home late in the afternoon after they finally had finished to find this.

 Furniture still just willy nilly and most stuff stacked in the bathrooms and kitchen.  I started moving what I could but it became clear pretty quickly that I wasn't going to be able to finish this by myself   and I wasn't going to leave it for Tom and my parents to come back to.  Hence, I swallowed my pride and called the trusty LDS missionaries who happen to live in the same complex as we do.  Bless them, they were there within the hour and helped me get it all back together.  They even hooked all the electronics back up and all for just the reward of a cold Sprite.  Honestly, I was so thankful they were there and available I could have bawled.  Not that I hadn't already done that over my stupidity.  Could have been worse.  We're on the bottom floor so no leakage into other apartments.  If we'd had anyone under us that would have been a nightmare. Only a couple of our things damaged and nothing major.  Unfortunately renter's insurance doesn't cover this kind of damage (surprise) even after many, many back and forth calls.  Still.  Could have been worse.

Tom and Taylor's Excellent Cross Country Drive

 So Taylor decided he'd had enough of NYC and that Utah was calling his name.  Hence a cross country trip and bonding opportunity for father and son.  Picked up the trailer after I retrieved Tom from his "homeless challenge" and loaded it up with stuff we were taking back home.  He left the next morning to pick up Taylor and pack his stuff.  First night stay in NJ to get even more things there that we'd had stored in Marie's basement.  Things from Eleanor's house.

That poor car has nearly 250,000 miles on it so between driving across the country and pulling a fully loaded trailer she barely made it.  Many over-heatings, stops for cool downs, one run out of gas episode in the middle of nowhere and staying at tiny dump motels, I'm sure it was an awesome adventure.  But they made it safe and sound while I was home having an adventure of my own.

Guest Blogger: Tom's DC Homeless Experience

 In less than an hour I will move out of our apartment and onto the streets of DC. Moving is probably not the best word since I am not taking anything with me. I’m just leaving. For three nights and three days I will participate in what is called the DC Homeless Experience. I will be on street with several other people also taking the challenge. During the day we will pair up and at night we will meet at some “unknown to me” location with the whole group and a mentor. Our mentor has experience on the streets and will make sure we find a safe place to sleep. I understand that the mentor will also stay awake at night and act as a sentry. Can’t image why we would need that!

I am allowed to bring; identification, a bible, notepad & pen, a blanket and the clothes I want to wear or carry in a black trash bag. I learned from those who did the Homeless Experience last year that carrying around a bunch of extra stuff becomes a burden so I will not be taking any extra clothes.
I went to the thrift store to purchase some inexpensive attire. Actually, I thought the prices at the thrift store were high. Regardless, I will be sporting $38.00 dollars worth of used clothing.
No money, no watch, no electronic devices. If it rains, as the forecast indicates, I won’t need a smart phone to check the weather. When I am wet it means rain, when I am hot the temperature is up. It is starting to get muggy in DC. Should anyone see me after a day of perspiring on the streets I recommend keeping your distance.
I am told that food in DC is not a problem. There are several organizations and churches that serve food to the homeless. However we will be asked to panhandle at least once so that we can get the experience of being ignored by the majority of the population. Any money we receive can be used to purchase food or donate to a worthy cause. By the way, not all panhandlers are homeless and not all homeless panhandle.
National Community Church (NCC) that Teri and I attend is sponsoring this particular mission. NCC has many mission opportunities but I chose the DC Experience for a number of reasons.
My intellect, assuming that I have one since I am volunteering to live on the street, tells me that most people don’t choose homelessness as better way of living. There’s a back-story to everyone’s life. A story we seldom hear and in my case choose not to hear because it’s more convenient to ignore. On television, I have watched the plights of street people in other countries and feel empathy yet I walk past men and women on the streets of America all the time without even looking.
In preparation for the homeless adventure, it’s still an adventure since I have yet to spend a night out in the rain or gone days without a shower, we read a book about two guys who spent five months on the streets of five different cities. In Under The Overpass the author writes that “it’s like asking God to bless your day, then when He puts a needy, smelly person in front of you that you could really help, you wonder what you did to deserve such rotten luck.”
One of the things I expect to learn from this experience is just how can I help. You can’t take in every person you see off the street. So what do you do? Perhaps I will have that answer in another three days. I already have learned that I need to remember that street people are human beings. From what I have read and from what professionals have told me the homeless are people that have lost hope. Is there anything I can do to give just a little hope to the hopeless?
Data collected by government and non-government organizations tell us that approximately 32 percent of the people living on the street have a history of substance abuse, 28 percent have a mental illness, 19% a chronic physical illness and another 6% have a developmental disability. Families that become homeless often have one member of the family suffering from one or more of the conditions listed above. That leaves about 15% that end up on the streets for a variety of other reasons such as a lost job or medical bills. Another disturbing statistic is that a disproportionate number of homeless are veterans.
If nothing else maybe I will learn how to connect the homeless with services that can help them. In the book Under the Overpass the author tells of a time when he stopped to talk to a real homeless person. After several hours of conversation the author was getting ready to leave and the real homeless man thanked him because he was the first person to talk to him all week. If stopping to recognize that someone is still a human being can make a difference then I think I can do that.
I visited an organization in DC called Pathways to Housing DC. Their philosophy is that you “provide housing first, and then combine that housing with supportive services to include mental and physical health, substance abuse services, employment, education and the family reunification needed to get back on their feet.”
I am anxious to take on the homeless experience and learn something new about homelessness, the homeless and myself. Hopefully, I will let you know how it all went and what I actually did learn. If you don’t hear from me again either something really bad has happened or I found life on the street better than expected.

What the weather was like all day Thursday

Tom's team and their mentors

My days as a homeless person are over. A mattress, no matter how lumpy, beats cardboard anytime. The Homeless Challenge was valuable and provided an opportunity to meet some wonderful people. I made some very good friends to include those that did the challenge with me; those that work with the homeless and many that are homeless.
The subject of homelessness is complex. As one of my challenge teammates said, “If you met one homeless person, you have met "one" homeless person.” Each person has a unique story and stereotypes are not useful. The bottom line is that these are human beings and no human being should live in such dire circumstances.
Many of the homeless we met did not look as if they were homeless. They were intelligent, articulate, resourceful, hygienic, decent people. None of them start life in homelessness. They had housing, families and communities. Some are now dealing with addiction while others have a mental illness or both. There is some debate as to which comes first. One of our mentors said, “50% of the homeless with addictions got that problem after becoming homeless.”
There are not as many resources out there as you would expect. At least not the resources that will get people off the streets like affordable housing, decent wages in a high cost areas, and services that help people fight addiction and mental illness.
In DC you will always find something to eat but it is not always a healthy choice. The homeless life expectancy is 20-years less than the rest of us. We spent Saturday morning at Franklin Park where we expected to get breakfast. There were many well-meaning churches and individuals bringing food but not enough for everyone and often nothing nutritious. We had chips and Oreos for breakfast.
Homelessness is a tough game of survival. As one of our mentors told us, “the homeless are exhausted. “Everyday is an endurance game where you never get a good nights rest. There are no breaks from homelessness, no down time from the constant challenges of staying alive for another day.” After spending the night in the rain on a concrete bed, surrounded by rats, and either too cold or too hot, you greet the morning not because you are rested but because you want to escape the discomfort. The homeless you see sleeping in the park during the day are recovering from the previous night. Our group experienced this first hand. It is hard to sleep when you are cold and wet.
As I wrote earlier, homelessness is complex. One solution does not fit everyone. Fortunately there are people that care. Some are working with the homeless now and others including our homeless mentors are advocates for the homeless using their experience, compassion and communication skills to help government and non-profit organizations better address the needs of those on the streets.
I found it impressive to hear a man that had spent 30-years on the street talk sincerely and intelligently about his life and why it took so long to recover. There isn’t enough time to explain the entire story here but trust me when I say that no one wants to be homeless or stay homeless. Too often the homeless have lost all hope. Circumstances can create homelessness hopelessness perpetuates it.
There is some good news. We do have many wonderful people in this world. While panhandling, something I was very uncomfortable doing and I understand that many homeless feel the same way. Not all homeless panhandle and not all panhandlers are homeless. However, as part of the experience I tried it. On one occasion I put out a sign asking for water and Chap Stick. After a short while I saw two pairs of shoes stopped not too far from me. When I looked up I saw two young black girls, early 20’s, staring at me, wanting to approach but hesitant. Finally, one of them steps forward and says, “Here this is for you”. She gives me two bottles of water and a new package of Chap Stick. I was surprise to get the items and surprised at the age of these angels. I said thanks, but as they walked away I realized that this was not enough. I called out. “God Bless You”. Not the cursory “god bless you” used when someone sneezes. I was so touch by their act of kindness that I wanted God to bring real blessing to them. They turned around, smiled and walked off.
Our homeless mentors, these are people that have spent years on the street or are currently living on the street, told us how much such acts of kindness and compassion can mean to a homeless person. Homelessness can make you feel as if you don’t matter. A simple act of kindness can change that feeling of worthlessness if only for a few minutes.
What can you do? Of course, you could always donate your time and energy to be an advocate for the homeless. But that is not for everyone. I will give you the recommendation presented to my challenge group by another of our mentors. Adopt a homeless person. No, you don’t take them home. The next time you see a homeless person ask them if there is anything you can do for them. I have a friend that when I told him I was about to go on this homeless challenge told me of a time when he would pass a homeless person each morning on his bike ride to work.
One day he decided to stop and talk to the man. He exchanged a few pleasantries with the man then went on his way. My friend started to stop and say hello to the man whenever he saw him. Eventually learning his name and a little about his identity and character. When the weather got colder he brought his homeless friend an unused coat from his closet and on occasion a gift card to purchase some food or other necessities. You never know how your act of kindness will impact the person on the receiving end. You can know that it will make a difference.
Another mentor of ours told the story of how just over a year ago he was on the streets of DC in sub-freezing temperatures. He was sick and in despair wanting to die when around 2 a.m. a man approached him. Our mentor had others talk to him over the years but for whatever reason this time was different. Our mentor said it was because the man that approached said all the right things, like asking, “what can I do to help you” instead of “let me help you.” That was the day our mentor began to get his energy back so that he could eventually get off the streets. He was given hope when all seem hopeless. After 30-years on the streets, our mentor has been living in a subsidized apartment for almost a year.
I don’t recommend you waste time looking for the magic words before talking to a homeless person. My recommendation is that you recognize these people as human beings in need and show an act of kindness. Take one small step to let someone that is on the verge of losing all hope know that someone cares.
As I mentioned earlier homelessness is complex and no two homeless people are the same. Some caution is warranted but don’t let fear alone stop you from making a difference in someone’s life.

P.S. When I get more time I plan to write a more detailed explanation of the Homeless Challenge so if anyone is interested let me know and I will share it with you.

Vegan May Wrap Up

So our vegan month has been easier than expected.  Really loved the food most the time and it was fun finding and trying new recipes.  Again, I found pure food the best (for me) as opposed to the faux  foods though those were really okay.  I am still disappointed I haven't seen a bigger weight loss though I feel better, lighter, and more energetic.  I have to remind myself that slow and steady is best.  We're just getting ready to head out on a looooong vacation....most of June, so it's going to be hard to maintain our good eating habits thought we're going to try.  And we'll definitely go back to it when we're back to real life!

                               Sweet potato fries (baked) that we had with veggie burgers.

                               Whole wheat spaghetti with homemade sauce and faux meatballs

 My staple.  Beans, rice, peppers and onions over fresh greens.  Topped with avocado & lime juice.

                   Homemade chili over baked potato with tofu sour cream (good!) and salad.