Packing NJ

We have had to hurry things along because Joe and Karen are moving to North Carolina.  Joe has a new job there and is living on their boat while Karen has stayed in NJ to get the house sold and finish up her work.  We spent a day helping them paint before an open house and then in one of those awesome real estate miracles, they had multiple offers on it's second day on the market.  They had just redone the kitchen and the house did show really well so that was a great thing.  

 We spent another day helping them load u-hauls and clean the house (Karen's foot is still a problem after her stepping off a ladder onto a paint can mishap) as their closing was the following morning and they had to be out!  They had already been in a hotel for a couple of days and they have stuff in storage in NJ AND North Carolina until they find a house.  Fortunately the boat is big enough to stay comfortably there until they find a place.

We were richly rewarded at the end of that long day with burgers on the grill and Marie's famous blueberry pie.  Victor came over to join us.

 After much discussion we finally decided to pull the carpet up at their mom's home as the old carpet isn't a great selling point.  Tom and I spent the next day doing just that and fortunately, the floors underneath were pretty wonderful!  We pulled up staples all day and moved all the furniture outside for the thrift store (still sick about all the stuff that is being let go).  We did the entire ground floor and put out a Craigslist curb call where people can come and pick up stuff for free.  It worked well the weekend before! Marie came to help later in the day and I think we may still go back to paint.

          This pretty much summed up how we felt after two days of lifting, loading and pulling.

Took off for home as soon as we showered and found this little ice cream joint on the way.  NJ is known for their blueberries so we had to try their fresh blueberry shakes!  It was okay....not as good as raspberry shakes from Bear Lake.

 We had a rainy drive through Philly on the way home.  Yeah, right THROUGH Philly as Tom had us on the slowest route possible!  This sky shot was almost worth it though......

Eleanor's Final Rest

Another trip to NJ to meet the family and send El's ashes off into the Atlantic.  Because we've been doing this drive so much Tom has been mixing it up and taking different routes.  All include at least one bridge!

 We also need to visit some roadside, non-franchised ice cream (or in this case gelato) joint along the way.

You can't tell but this big ol' barn was pink

 So, I'm going to tell this story as delicately as possible given the subject matter but here's how it went down.  So Eleanor's cremated remains come to the house in a plastic bag inside a plastic box made to look like metal.  When her cat is cremated a few weeks later, he comes back in a lovely wooden box with his name engraved on the top.  And a certificate.

 Tom transfers the remains into tissue paper so the ashes won't fly all over when tossed out into the ocean.  He does choose El's favorite color pink for her's, and yellow for Bows.  At the last minute, Marie remembers she still has the remains of her dog from several years back so he gets put in as well.

 We get up early and Dennis meets us at Marie's as the four of us drive to Atlantic City to meet Joe and Karen on the boardwalk.  Now, when their dad passed away, the plan was to throw his remains over the ocean out of Victor's airplane.  However, the day they were supposed to do it, the wind was bad AND there wasn't room in the plane for all of them so they opted to walk out the long pier (it houses high end shops)  and throw them out from there.  Hence, Eleanor wanted to be in the same place.

It seemed fitting as this was the last casino we took Eleanor to when she was still able to get around.  She LOVED her casinos! Nothing like the solemnity of a casino to put you in the mood for a burial.

Sand sculpture next to the pier

 It was a beautiful morning and this pier is a good one as it goes way out over the water.  However, there is some confusion as to what is exactly legal regarding disposing of ashes into the ocean.  Probably off the end of the pier isn't quite far enough to meet legal requirements.....hence we were doing this early in the morning as to not run in to any people.  Unfortunately, when we arrived to walk out to the end, a barricade was in front of the sidewalk at the Pier Shops at Caesars because they don't open until 10 AM.  So of course, we just moved the barricade and high tailed our way down the pier.  Things were going along swimmingly until a golf cart carrying a security guy came wheeling around the corner.  Marie, Karen and I stepped aside while the men had a chat with the guard explaining that we just wanted to go down to the end to take a photo.  Which was true.  I DID want to take a photo. Joey put on his best ex-police chief negotiator voice but the guard was having none of it.  He threatened to call more security and the guys just shrugged and kept walking out to the end.  Ok, I'm a big authority figure kinda gal so this was WAY out of my comfort zone but as we WERE close to the end, we hurried and caught up to them.  By the time I caught up they were already doing the tossing.  I don't know if any words of wisdom were spoken aloud but I'm assuming their thoughts were expressed inwardly.

 Two minutes later we were hustling back towards the casino when security guy pulled up in front, another mall cop behind and one very tall gentleman who looked like he couldn't believe he was being brought out for this.  He calmly said to me and the ladies (we may have had a little more spring in our step than the guys) that we couldn't be out there.....we apologized and kept going. Assuming the guys did the same thing as they weren't handcuffed and were able to join us.

Note orange barricade

 Um yeah, it was a very special send off indeed.  Has frankly made me re-think the whole cremation thing (which would make my mother very happy) but that's yet to be determined.  We did hang on to a small container of ashes to bury next to Joe at the Veteran's Cemetery but that won't happen until Fall.

Mornings

This is where mornings are spent after walking Tom to work.  Small deck with a great devotional book, bible, last week's reading and some french vanilla creamer with a touch of decaf.

Seasonal Confusion

 I stop and check on our garden when I walk Tom to work in the morning.  A couple of peppers are on, the tomatoes are just starting and the herbs are doing well.  This week has been weird weather wise.  Overcast in the morning and then some POURING rain storms.

 This type of weather (especially when the air conditioning in the apartment gives the impression that it's much cooler than it really is outside) puts me in the mind of cooking. It felt and looked like Fall though if you stepped outside into the humidity, it was clearly very summery. Alas, still I felt compelled to spend the day in the kitchen.

Since it's Nic's birthday week, I wore this cute apron he made when he was little with his handprints all over it!

  Since we had blown through all the jars of last year's batch of salsa.....that was just the beginning of a day at the stove!  Oh, how I love my food processor for all that chopping!

Rainy days also require comfort food so tried a new recipe....a potato au gratin layered with leeks, chopped artichoke hearts and gruyere cheese.  Served that with fresh green beans and a tossed green salad for dinner. Creamy, rich and yummy!

 And since I got Eleanor's awesome Kitchenaid, I finished up with a flourless chocolate cake topped with strawberries and whipped cream.  Cute heart in the middle of that strawberry!

Happy Birthday Nicholas!

Nicholas with Grandma Lola @ Uncle Wayne's Cabin

Nicholas arrived a short 19 months after Jessica was born and in the same summer that cousins Danielle and Shaylee arrived.  I was a little freaked out at first wondering how I would handle two little ones at the same time but ultimately it was a blessing as Jess and Nic were close enough in age to become great  playmates.  And as Nicholas was the only boy for quite a while, he was close with his cousins as well.  

Danielle and Nicholas

As this was an extended family with plenty of fair skinned, light haired kids I was glad to finally get some of Tom's Italian gene pool and have little Nicholas with dark hair and dark eyes.  I had always loved the name Nicholas and right after I had delivered and we called NJ,  I remember Tom's mom asking what we had named him ....I said "Nicholas" and she gasped.  "Oh," she said, "That's my father's name!".  It was one of those moments.  I had only met Tom's grandfather once and I did know his name, but in terms of naming the baby.....didn't even cross my mind.  We never let Tom's mom know that though!  I also said no one was to call him Nic, just Nicholas.....but that didn't last long.  I actually knew that would happen but liked the name Nic just as well so it was okay.  Had the same issue with Jessica/Jess.

 Nic's teachers always loved him.  He was a pretty quiet kid but had the cutest personality.  He was the peacemaker, the introvert, the affable one who didn't make waves. He played little league baseball where Tom was his coach for many years, one season of Jr. football (which freaked me out) and Jr. Jazz basketball.  As he got older he developed a very dry sense of humor.  He liked shopping at thrift stores and would buy things like this (see below) shirt.  With someone else's name and picture on it.  Or bowling shirts with someone else's name on it.

He took piano lessons but as soon as he was able, started playing the drums.  Once he was in junior high he was in the percussion band and leaned more toward music than sports.  He was in scouts and his best friend Tyler Mooney's dad was their scout leader for several years.  He stopped just short of getting his Eagle.

He had a great group of friends all through school.  Even in high school his teachers loved him.  However, that made me a little crazy as our parent teacher conferences would go something like this:

Me: I'm Nic Cowan's mom

Teacher: Oh!  I love Nic, he's so hilarious!

Me: Well, I'm concerned that he's getting an F in your class.

Teacher: Oh, don't worry about that, he's doing fine.  He's just missing an assignment but it's nothing to worry about.

Me: Well, he IS getting an F right now.....

Teacher: Really, no worries, he's one of the smartest kids in the class, he's so funny and totally cracks me up.

Me: Yeah, but the F is making me nervous....

Teacher: No need, he can hand it in whenever, but anyway, he's so dang funny.  I just love the way his mind works!

I can't tell you how many times I had this exact same conversation with teachers through the years.  Same was true of Taylor's teachers as well.  Always loved the entertainment value of their presence in the classroom, just not as concerned with the grade point average as we were.

One time Nic and his friends staged a sit-in at school because the vending machines kept taking their money.  I still have the lined paper with the handwritten notice they posted on the machines.  Fortunately, a friend of mine was the vice-principal and a good sport.....he thought Nic was funny too!

Nic with Grandpa, Denise and Craig at Campbell Labor Day Invitational Golf Tourney at Davis Golf Course.  Nic's the only member of the Cowan's who caught the golfing bug.  We're all horrible but he actually likes it and is good at it!

When Taylor started playing guitar he jammed some with Nic's band FLOW that Nic had started with another friend.  Taylor was good enough to eventually join them and that was a good experience for them both.

Nic has struggled with what exactly he wants to do with his life.  He writes, has always been interested in all types of music....his ipod at any given time would have an varied mix of classic rock, motown, Neil Diamond and classical music, and he reads a ton.  Has a keen interest in non-fiction...especially history.

Several years ago we went on a mission trip to Mexico over Christmas break with our church and one of Nic's friends came along.  We had a great time and Nic helped out with a lot of things. One night we even put together an impromptu worship band and he played drums.

Running new electrical lines in a run down church

Nic, Schultz and Jessica rehearsing puppet show for the kids

Crafting with the kids in vacation bible school.  We didn't speak Spanish but still managed to communicate.

Videotaping as we visited people in the village

The Kidlets in Mexico

 Nic and Taylor on one of Tom's work trips.  They went to Denver then stopped to run the river on the way home. A very muddy looking river......

Nic's hair always lends itself to a realistic Joseph or shepherd role each Christmas in the Nativity 

He was asked to play Jesus at Vacation Bible School once, complete with a donkey!  We had been teaching the kids all the stories about Jesus throughout the week, so at the end on Friday night when Nic was there....they just about flipped.  Again, this was not something in his comfort zone but he was a good sport and was very good with the little ones.

We have always collected drum sticks from every Hard Rock Cafe we've ever visited for Nic, here and overseas. So a couple of years ago for Christmas, Tom became the craft king and designed and made this wall hanging to display them all.  He put hours and hours into it and Nic was pretty impressed.

 He is a great kid with a good heart who has had more than his share of struggles.  Most of which are his story to tell.  But through his journey we have learned a great deal about patience, love, faith, grief, and ultimately power and surrender. We pray constantly for him and all our children but he seems to require just a little extra.  When you love someone with addiction issues you realize just how far you will go to research every avenue of treatment that might save them.  And through the obsessive worry and stress you have to make difficult decisions.  He is blessed to be surrounded by people who continue to reach out to him and love him despite his mis-steps.  We are finding that when we tell the truth about addiction it makes it easier for others who are having the same struggle to open up their hearts and hurts as well.  We and many other warriors continue to pray for his complete recovery but on this day, we celebrate his awesomeness and are grateful for his place in our family.