Girlfriends

Susan, Teri, Charlene, Elaine, Jayne, Annette & Betsy.  

 I have been very fortunate in my adult life to have some wonderful friends...many who belong to my "girl groups".  This is my "soup group" which Jayne started fairly soon after 9/11.  She found that being alone after such a staggering event was difficult so she wanted to surround herself with people she loved.  Hence, she put together a group that has grown and changed over the years. We would meet about every 6 weeks at someones home and you could only make soup.  Nothing fancy.  Just soup (or salad in the summer).  But this wasn't about showing our culinary skills because as the hostess you would also pick the topic of discussion  for the evening. We've discussed everything from What is Your Love Language to Describe One of Your Greatest Regrets and How Would You Have Handled it Differently, from How Would You Describe Your Spiritual Beliefs to Bring a Photo of Yourself From the Time You First Had a Memory and Bring One From When You Thought You Were At Your Very Best.  Some were uncomfortable with opening up so opted out but for those of us who stayed a group of strangers have become close friends. We are not a book group but at this last get together before I left I brought them each a book from my collection that reminded me of them.

Jayne, Ann, Me, Cheryl, Cheryl's mom (who was visiting) Kathryn, Anne and Susan

 This is my Kitchen Wisdom group.  It just so happens that we're all professional actresses from the Salt Lake area but we are also friends.  We all show up to the same auditions and compete for the same roles but we are also happy for each other's successes and look forward to the opportunities we have to work together.  We've held each other up through tragedies and celebrated together as well.  This group was started long ago by our matriarch Jean Roberts who was a lovely actress and an even more amazing woman.  I'm not sure of when exactly when we started meeting but it's been over 18 years since Jean brought me diaper covers with his name on the butt in sequins when Taylor was born.  THAT'S who she was.  The deep voiced, sequin loving, special love rock giving funny woman in the beret who after her stroke (while appearing in Grapes of Wrath on stage) even decorated her cane with all kinds of lovely, sparkly things. When you were on stage you always knew when she was in the audience by her deep laugh.  Just lovely. When it became difficult for her to get around we would sometimes visit her at her small apartment when she was up to it.  She passed away since we've been in Alabama. I've never known anyone quite like her and I bless her for bringing us together.  We meet on the last Monday of the month at a favorite coffee house and our size fluctuates.  Sometimes there are two or three and yes, we talk about work, or lack of work but we mostly talk about life.

Lisa, Sally, Michelle, Jenne, Alison
Linda, Me and Betsy

These lovely ladies are my book group.  Going on twenty years we have been through a lot with each other. Divorces, crises, child issues, job changes, moves.....it's hard to not run the gamut in that amount of time. But in our monthly meetings in our rotating homes full of good food and drink we have laughed and cried ourselves silly.  These ladies are smart.  And funny.  And have pushed me to read books I never would have given a second look, some of which are now on my list of all time favorites. But isn't that the purpose of  a book group?  To move you out of your comfort zone?  We've read classics, some Oprah selections (though we tried to avoid these on principle....we're a little snooty that way), some stinkers that we took off lists of "books you must read before you die", and some obscure titles that took our breath away.  We don't always agree on what's wonderful....in fact, hardly ever.  One member would prefer we read only non-fiction so we eek those in occasionally and they have been some of our favorites.  At Christmas we have a white elephant book exchange where we bring something from our library to share with someone else.  It does become raucous and irreverent with stealing & such but I have walked away from that event with books like Wicked (many years ago) and Pillars of the Earth.  And bless Linda who keeps a running tally of ALL the books we've read and I'm here to tell you, THAT is an impressive list.

Megan, Amber, Molly, Erin, Amber, Allison and Me

 Finally, when given the opportunity to join a spouse's book group in Alabama, I jumped at the chance.  If you've never been in a book group before, the first couple of meetings can be a little uneasy as no one quite knows how to go about bringing up the fact that maybe they didn't like the book you recommended.  That was the case with this group when I brought a book a friend from Utah thought might be good, especially since it dealt with Alabama history.  The group didn't love it.  Which is okay.  As I always say....I didn't WRITE the book, I haven't read the book, I've just heard it might be a good read.  Everyone's tastes are different, which is the beauty of finding a whole new group of girlfriends who by our meeting last night, some five months in to this thing, can say freely what they don't care for and why.  And the fact that we all have differing opinions is what makes it interesting. And the fact that the book we read for last night, Richard Russo's STRAIGHT MAN is one of the funniest books I've ever read and flat out made me laugh out loud more times than I can count, endears this new group to me even more.  Of course, it also doesn't hurt when one of your members happens to know the author of an upcoming book we're going to read and he includes a handwritten note in the copy of said book that she has brought for each of you.  Yes Amber, that was awesome.

Catching Up

 By the end of last week Tom was this close to losing his mind via this recuperation process so we took a little walk.  Nothing trying just a little saunter to get him out in the fresh air and sunshine.

We went to church Sunday morning but by afternoon he needed another break so we took a drive to a place called Deatsville which isn't far from us.  Just a little exploring in areas we've yet to visit.  We were missing out on the annual Super Bowl party at my brother Jeff's with the whole family (bummer) so we pit stopped at a local joint to grab some Southern ribs to bring home for our own little game meal.

 Though he hadn't been cleared to go back to school, he insisted on going Monday for a "short" day.  This is him pacing outside waiting for his ride.

Doctor's appt on Tues. went well.  Retina is still attached so the face down recup can now be switched out for merely "taking it easy".  He's trying to catch up on school work so it's still sapping some energy.  Vision in that eye is very blurry so all that reading via his good eye is causing some eye stress and headaches.  He is glad to be up and around however and just to be in the classroom where he can at least HEAR what's going on is a good thing.

Finally, in our continuing effort to eat healthy I keep trying to make veggie chips with not much luck.  I don't like paying the $5 dollars they cost at the health food store so I bought a mandoline to slice them thinly, toss them in olive oil & sea salt before putting them in the oven, but they're not crisping!  Trying different recipes but still not happy with outcome.  Grrr.
Also, some homemade granola bars with more fiber than you could ever want.  They are okay.  Not crazy about them.  Ahhhhh,  health food.

Recuperating

 We discovered that lying on the hard surface of the floor was a tad more comfortable than the sofa if pillows were strategically placed. Hence, this has become Tom's new hangout.

It was sunny and 73 degrees yesterday so I allowed him a short but slow walk around the grounds of the complex before dinner which seemed to perk him up a bit.

I've been doing his reading aloud so he can stay caught up and trust me, nothing makes you rethink that "through thick and thin" vow more than when you realize you've just read 20 pages of ground vs. air war strategy during Desert Storm/Shield only to find your patient has nodded off somewhere around page 7.

He's also watched listened to a couple of movies where I do a play by play of who is speaking and what they're doing.  Yeah, it's great fun!  He's been happy to receive phone calls from concerned classmates and grateful for drop by visits with cards and graded tests.  The school really has been great.

Again, he's a very good patient and today the swelling is down, the eye is opening, and he's been doing some studying on his own albeit on his stomach.  He's looking forward to tomorrow when he can actually sit up.  Other than medicinal eye drops, this is his drug of choice:

Surprise Surgery

 So we discovered on the 27th that Tom had a detached retina.  His vision had become somewhat blurred the week before and continually got worse in his right eye so after to a visit to a 2 opthamologists, surgery was scheduled for Monday.  Apparently there are several ways such a thing can happen....trauma, genetics, age & near-sightedness.  Tom's was the last two.  We spent the day at the hospital....Tom being put completely out with anesthesia then having his eye prodded, poked, stitched & drained while I sat in the newly remodeled waiting room.  I watched as they set up and tuned a baby grand piano, listened as said piano played itself for the rest of the afternoon via computer, enjoyed the grand opening for the staff of the new snack bar along complete with warm biscotti, brownies and mini frozen Starbuck's frappucinos delivered to those of us waiting.  Finished and started a book (LOVE that Kindle) all while following Tom's progress on the computerized tv screen that tracked him (via an assigned number) from holding to post op and release.

We are fortunate that we both come from healthy stock and luckily have had little to do with hospitals except shoots that I've done from playing a nurse explaining the pre and post-surgery aspects of gastric bypass to a nurse showing the proper way to wash your hands when you're on duty.

Now that hard part begins.  Because they put an air bubble in his eye to act as a splint and hold it up so the re-attachment takes, he has to lie face down for a week.  The poor guy already has a back that gives him problems so trying to sleep, rest, relax or frankly do anything while facing down is very difficult, not to mention very uncomfortable.  He can get up for quick meals, shower, etc. then back down.  He also has to keep his eye gaze down so we spent yesterday listening to a movie while I described who was talking and what was happening.  This morning I read his incredibly riveting textbook (yawn) homework to him.  Luckily he is a wonderful patient and not a whiner because this is our life for two weeks.  He'll also have to continue to take it easy for another month (no workouts) which is going to make him go mad as he is a crazy physical fitness addict.  At his return visit yesterday everything looks good so far so we are hoping some sight in that eye will be regained.  Appreciate the prayers that came his way.